Maybe I’ll be like this forever and there’s nothing I am supposed to or can do about it. maybe god made me like this for a reason.

it’s like all of the weight of the world is on me right now. I’m so stressed and I can’t do anything right. I was smart but I fucked it up and had friends but I pushed them away. I am asking for a shitty life. This is my fault. The thing that bothers me the most is that if I was given another chance, I know that I’d do the same exact thing again.

I’m never okay anymore. I always feel sad and guilty and alone. Even on the best days. I don’t know why.